his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
