Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
