What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
