ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
