i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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