he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
