in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
