I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
