we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
