just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I would ride that face into the sunset
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
