I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
