i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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