we have officially mastered the walk of shame
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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