At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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