It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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