You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
