She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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