ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
