I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
