you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
