Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
