I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
