Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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