I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
