even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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