this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
