As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
