i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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