So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You ruined the universe
Randomize
