so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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