So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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