he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
