She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
