Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
