is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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