She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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