And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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