if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
