I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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