I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
