dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
