this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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