Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
