then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
