Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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