There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
