I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
