arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
