girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
