Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
